Serving on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
Three quick looks inspired by Clarice Lispector, the Yellow Wallpaper, and an Almodovar film.
Hey! As I’ve been pretty open about on Instagram, I struggle with mental health issues and last week had a pretty harrowing episode, but that got me thinking—what style cues can we take from people on the brink of a breakdown? I know this runs the risk of “aestheticizing insanity” or “romanticizing the struggle” or whatever, but honestly, as someone who’s had to deal with being crazy for more than two decades, if that’s my one cancelable offense, I’m okay with it. Below are three quick looks inspired by the works of Clarice Lispector, The Yellow Wallpaper, and Women on the Verge of a Nervour Breakdown, plus some bonus archival content. Glad you’re here!
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The egg and the cockroach and you
This fit blends the imagery of a few of Lispector’s stories, “The Egg and the Chicken” and The Passion According to G.H., as well as the author’s own penchant for pearls.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc31882ab-790f-4b50-9c63-9ac857f52834_1120x750.webp)
Instead of her iconic pearl necklace, I chose this enormous, chaotic earring that I feel captures the bending and swaying of Lispector’s narrators’ minds as they transcend their mortal understandings to achieve some sort of godly neutrality.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F035f8ecb-e1a3-4c62-8ecf-5e15f991a75c.avif)
I chose an earring so as not to mess up the neckline of this shirt, which I feel perfectly outfits the type of woman Lispector writes—buttoned-up, but with some sort of off-kilter edge, something about to unravel or snap.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F50b40979-7177-4364-994f-91edafd7b5b0_480x640.webp)
These jeans are painted white like the dizzyingly stark room in which almost all of G.H. takes place, with the tiny fragments of denim breaking through like the abjection of the physical world that always catalyzes some sort of existential revelation for Lispector’s characters.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F31e57b81-f7b9-44c0-b58e-9e3fcf27024b_1800x2250.jpeg)
These shoes are perfect little cockroaches.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faea1e2fc-b10c-416d-93ea-b0d1a28062b3_562x1072.png)
And an egg, another catalyst for ego death!
Fit for creeping
I’ve loved The Yellow Wallpaper since high school, it’s the only mandatory reading I ever remember liking, and this fit is a holiday party-ish look with an unhinged edge.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2e72b982-cf6d-499a-ae86-b0913f4ce5c5_760x1162.png)
This hat reminded me of the walls of a padded cell, the kind the narrator was likely headed for after her little episode in the story.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdc0ebed0-61be-431e-82ee-b7c0c282f353.avif)
I love that the dress is mesh so the body literally emerges from the gnarled yellow florals, just like in the story.
An instrument with which to better scratch off the wallpaper.
Since the dress was mesh, I wanted to ground it in the same color but a more solid, velvet texture.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F91887066-5d81-4f6c-9df5-4f677a28ebd8_660x666.png)
These sandals will let you step over fainted men with grace and aplomb.
Wear while drinking benzo gazpacho
This look combines some of my favorites of Pepa and Candela, two “heroines” of Almodovar’s 1988 film Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown:
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F555be93d-697c-4665-9e38-4e7dd0ca80e8.avif)
Of course, Candela’s iconic Moka Pot earrings.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbebb7aa8-87df-4101-b421-0b2eef7eef7b_1588x2382.jpeg)
A polka-dot shirt to cover up…
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33e50d6d-8fc3-4f16-adaa-edd8eadae481_576x1024.webp)
…the most Almodovar bathing suit ever.
Polka dot sock-tights to tie in the footwear…
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F667cac46-5a7e-4d49-a339-9ed5d01a3eb0_2000x2469.jpeg)
…these nouveau creepers that Candela certainly would’ve worn.
One more thing—a blast from the past, a portion of a May 2022 post on the now-archived former HR site gushing about a specific character’s outfit from the film (sorry if all the links are dead):
Blue stripey top and skirt + white knee socks + pom-pom graced denim jacket + MOKA POT EARRINGS! MOKA POT EARRINGS are the key here. Candela rocks so hard in this fit that she fully steals someone’s fiance and they’re not even mad about it cause MOKA POT EARRINGS. The top and bottom don’t have to match perfectly as long as the stripes are about the same width and shades of blue that are either the same or close enough to be pleasantly discordant. The pom-poms… I could pass on them, though María Barranco wears them with dignity. I could see this with a leather jacket or a simple but glam peter-pan-collared coat depending on the season. You can use a bathing suit top with a similar shape to Candela’s shirt to get closer to her look. The bottoms don’t have to be a shirt, any blue striped bottom would work (bike shorts, leggings, trousers… I feel like this look would be best for people with short hair. Because of the Moka pot earrings. Candela forever <3
If you lose your shit today, I hope you look amazing doing it.
<3 HR
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ok this yellow wallpaper fit literally couldn’t be any more perfect