Bonus: Get Your Bag
Carry on.
Hellour! I wish I were in Australia right now (shoutout to my Aussie friend Milk, if you’re reading this, I’m blowing you kisses), but I’m really just doing a silly voice for no reason. Hope you’re doing super well. This month’s first bonus post is on BAGS, specifically bags that are either a) sturdy, dirt-friendly workhorses, b) glam but with a sense of humor c) not bags at all, but still carriers and d) weird as hell.
Enjoy, and if you’re interested in receiving a minimum of two bonus posts per month, sign up below or HERE is a link to subsidized subs for two or less bucks a month! Feel free to share this newsletter with a friend and respond to this email telling me you did it if you aren’t able to afford the two dollars and I will comp you a month’s subscription.
THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @humanrepeller on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little preview of what’s below the paywall:
Note: I might earn a commission if you purchase items using some of the links below, which costs you nothing and might actually save you a few bucks in some cases, so thanks if you do, and please let me know what you copped!
Sacks for Safekeeping
My lovely IRL friend Dana sent me a query AS I WAS WRITING this post, because we’re brain twins:
Immediately, three routes came to mind (besides the basket answer, which is unsatisfying to me as it usually requires hand engagement, thus kind of mitigating the usefulness quotient of having a carrier in the first place, which I believe is to keep your hands free! Also, a basket for gardening? We can get a little wilder than that…):
The Chalk Bag
It might sound insane to carry around a bag made especially for the most obnoxious group of people on planet earth (sorry if you rock climb, I’m just jealous of your upper body strength). However, chalk bags are, by necessity (because they are intended to literally carry handfuls of fine powder), extremely, extremely rugged, leak-proof, easy-to-clean, and carefully-made. They are the perfect size for a plant, a water bottle, a cup of soup—anything that must not tip over or get squashed. They almost always have loops or hooks for attaching carabiners (or OTHER CHALK BAGS?), which allows you to customize your own multi-bag system, perhaps two bags for plants and one for phone/keys/wallet? For what it’s worth, you’ll be the only one at the function with a chalk bag, I promise.
Lest this sound unconscionably expensive, the chalk bag below is a dupe of the first (fancy) one and is fully customizable, color-wise and embroidery wise, has the option to add a waist strap in addition to its long shoulder strap, and starts at $26.
There are also chalk bags in leather or other more natural looking materials, if you, like I know Dana to be, are a neutrals kinda guy.
The chalk bag silhouette is so easy to grab stuff from or stick oversized stuff in (a baguette? A bouquet?), so it has been replicated many a time in less technical materials…
…this one has a triangular base, which is cool…
…and, of course, sumptuous pleats!
The Tactical Pack
Though we (my dog and I) at HR don’t support the military, for structured, rugged, easily-cleanable packs with tons of pockets and external attachment points, you can hardly beat ‘em. I like the crossbody, sling, and waist ones.
The below company, 1733, makes tactical bags with less insidious aesthetics that have all the advantages of the above, but come in delightful colorways…
…and if they look small, that’s just an illusion, as demonstrated by the haul of shrooms below. You can even cop an extra strap for them to add more stability if you bike or flail around a lot. The only downside to these is that they sell out REALLY quickly, so you’ll have to sit tight for the. next drop to get your hands on one. Here’s their IG for monitoring.
And finally, the piece de resistance, the bizarre TikTok find that I think might be literally perfect for your case, Dana…