I think it's only natural to want to elicit the same feeling of magnetism that others evoke for you - when you manage to pull a fit that gets the stylish stranger on the train to side-eye you knowingly it feels so good. Approval feels good, and everyone knows it even if they don't want to admit it! The core of it, like you said, is seeking community and belonging. Which everyone wants (hopefully). A lot of people act like they've above seeking strangers' approval and I think we've created cultural shame around admitting it (like wanting approval = insecurity). But in a city this competitive and lonely where everyone is exhibiting their best self etc., everyone struggles with demoralization and self-consciousness and it's good to acknowledge it. And in a place where strangers seldom start conversations, signaling with your personal style is a great nonverbal way to invite people to approach you who wouldn't otherwise know what to say. Anyways I think about this stuff a lot too, sorry for massive comment, I think you're cool and smart (and stylish)!!
also as a low income student your bit about dressing on a budget was especially resonant, but after listening to style zeitgeist’s recent pod on fast fashion I feel a bit more okay with purchasing less, outfit repeats, and that purchasing is not necessary for participation in a subculture although it feels it!!
After being stranded in Cambridge England (another fashion desert except for students in gowns and bad Y2K revivals) for five months I’ve never been more excited to return to the city in two short weekssss.
Just moved here even though I don’t work in fashion this really strikes a cord. I already was an impulse spender and now living here has made that way more intense—also not knowing a lot of people yet my default is to shop when I don’t have plans, so would definitely appreciate any advice you have on how to curb the need for consumption here
I think it's only natural to want to elicit the same feeling of magnetism that others evoke for you - when you manage to pull a fit that gets the stylish stranger on the train to side-eye you knowingly it feels so good. Approval feels good, and everyone knows it even if they don't want to admit it! The core of it, like you said, is seeking community and belonging. Which everyone wants (hopefully). A lot of people act like they've above seeking strangers' approval and I think we've created cultural shame around admitting it (like wanting approval = insecurity). But in a city this competitive and lonely where everyone is exhibiting their best self etc., everyone struggles with demoralization and self-consciousness and it's good to acknowledge it. And in a place where strangers seldom start conversations, signaling with your personal style is a great nonverbal way to invite people to approach you who wouldn't otherwise know what to say. Anyways I think about this stuff a lot too, sorry for massive comment, I think you're cool and smart (and stylish)!!
also as a low income student your bit about dressing on a budget was especially resonant, but after listening to style zeitgeist’s recent pod on fast fashion I feel a bit more okay with purchasing less, outfit repeats, and that purchasing is not necessary for participation in a subculture although it feels it!!
After being stranded in Cambridge England (another fashion desert except for students in gowns and bad Y2K revivals) for five months I’ve never been more excited to return to the city in two short weekssss.
thank you for sharing your thoughts here 🫶 i thoroughly enjoyed and related xoxo
Felt this so hard ❤️
Just moved here even though I don’t work in fashion this really strikes a cord. I already was an impulse spender and now living here has made that way more intense—also not knowing a lot of people yet my default is to shop when I don’t have plans, so would definitely appreciate any advice you have on how to curb the need for consumption here